We got in kids fresh out of training that thought they knew everything. At Ft Bliss my next door neighbor was the Battalion personnel SGT. He had a buddy at post personnel do up official orders stating that an investigation had found his basic training was compromised and he was ordered back to Ft Knox to undergo Basic again. We were able to get the company commander in on it who called him into his office and read him his orders. We let him stew over it a couple of days before we told him the truth!
For those who don't know the military uses the "grid reference system" on maps. That means that all maps have grid lines, vertical and horizontal every 1000 meters (one click) called "grid squares". Standard maps in the Army are 1/50,000.
I was in the motor pool as a young SGT teaching a map reading class. WE had a smart asked kid who would always try to "sharp shoot" (embarrass an instructor). He tired that on me that hot summer day. I sent him to the supply room to get me a "box of grid squares" (nonexistent item). Now the company area (thus the supply room was about 1/2 mile, and did I say it was hot? Near 100! The supply SGT was a prankster too. So the PVT gets to the supply room and tells the SGT that SGT K needs a box of grid squares. The SGT ask 1/25,000 or 1/50,000? PVT says he doesn't know so he gets sent back to ask me. I ask if he was aware that in armor warfare we always use 1/50,000. So back to supply he goes. Supply SGT tells him gee, after you left I issued the last box of 1/50,000 grid squares I had to someone else while you were gone, go ask SGT is he can make do with a box of 1/250,000? SO the kid runs back to the MP to ask. I chew him out saying that heck yes I can make do! So back to supply he goes to get told......sorry, you were too slow, I gave they last of those out while you were gone! That night I was in the barracks with several old maps watching him cut me out grid squares! No one ever had trouble with him in a class again!
There were lots of pranks puled in the Army.
I got my oldest daughter. She was a young teen and very concerned about "fashion". She kept bugging me "what am I getting for Christmas?". I told her a rock! What we did was get her a gift card from her favorite clothing store. I took a 30 pound rock, wrapped it in tissue paper and put it in a box with the gift card in an envelope with card taped to a flap on the box. Christmas morning she tears open the box, fails to see the envelope and pulls out this rock!
Got my oldest son too. Got him something he really wanted that came in a plain white box. Per instructions my wife had the kids pull out this box (with my sons gift in it) in front one me (terrible snoop) wrap it, then my wife told the oldest boy to hide it so I wouldn't find it! Christmas morning my son tries handing me this box. I told him "open it". When he got it open he realized it was for him! He looks at me with this "I'm dumb" look on his face and says "I've slept with this under my bed for 4 months and never snooped"!
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Today's Featured Article - New Life for an Old Allis - by Tyler Woods. My friend Jon, has an old '39 Allis Chalmers B. He thought it a marginal tractor that had long since served its time. She smoked terribly and never had much power but he couldn't afford another so he was limping along with what he had. Jon's Allis has a small front loader and though it doesn't carry much, it serves his needs. It was the hard starting and low power that made him think it was time to replace the old girl. Jon called me to help him discover why his tractor wouldn't start
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