I gotta throw in a joke too.....

The Setting: An aarp convention held in a nice hotel. As an elderly woman was getting off of the elevator and an elderly gentlemen was getting on. Not paying attention, he ran into her. He said "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I'm sure you'll forgive me" She replied with a smile "If your (you know what) is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204.

JBM

Got this one in the email box today. I thought is was funny

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up..

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said ,"Things are great and I"ve never felt better."

I now have a 30 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

"So what do you think about that Doc ?"


The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season."


One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."

"A s he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water"s edge.



He realized he"d left his gun at home and so he couldn"t shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if
it were his favorite hunting rifle and went "bang, bang"."

"Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.





Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said ,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

good joke.

The angle of the dangle divided by the mass of the a$$ determines the heat of the meat.....

90 year old man marrried a 18 year old super model from a rich family. After a month the old guy was going down to the nuring home for entertainment with a 80 year old lady.

Of course the young super model was more than upset, and started screaming at the top of her sweet little voice. I have a rack like a million dollars, a firm rear end, a extremly pretty face and a non stop desire for...... (everything else)! She was in tears when she asked what that old lady could posibly have that she didn't have? His reply was ...patience my dear patience.

Actually it is as follows:

Mass of the a$$ x Angle of the dangle

Divided by the coefficient of friction

equals the heat of the meat.

The new math these days is confusing.

I was always kinda shy I should've raised my hand and had him/her explain that equation..

plow hand,
You shy I can hardly imagine that.Good joke could really work on this one if it wasn't a family forum.

Vito

Vito,Vito,Vito, have you noticed there must be nicer weather around the country poeple are starting to lighten up on here a little....Ive learned a lot from mathematics to the dos and don'ts about sheep....

plow hand,
Yea, seems some people are coming out of winter hibernation mentally.As for the sheep math I will leave that one alone.

Vito

Couple of old geezers were discussing their health. One said he had gone to the doctor, and doc prescribed 1/8 Viagra tablet, taken twice a day. Other opined as how they were both too old to be concerned about se x, and besides that, what good is an eighth of a tablet going to do, anyhow? First replied, "Oh, I don't care a whit about se x anymore- I'm just tired of peeing on my shoes."