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OT: bumper sticker humor

D

Doug in Illinois

Member
One of our local DJ's reported he saw a bumper sticker on a Amish buggy: Uses no Imported oil, powered by feed and hay. CAUTION: Do not step in exhaust.
Anyone else seen or heard any other good stickers? DOUG
 

I gave up smoking, drinking, and chasing women and found I didn't HAVE to work.

I may be slow but I'm ahead of you. (old one)

T shirt, not bumper sticker as seen on a cute waitress: I do but not with you.

KEH
 
Wife ---well--- make that ex-wife was a looker and a half. She was almost in tears a few nights as truckers were huggin her bumper and honking their horns. Probably a year before we both were involved in putting on a bumper sticker that said honk if you like SE_____X. The tears turned to laughter after I pointed it out.
 
The one I put on our rusted out 88 F150 Farm pickup-

"Crime doesn't pay. Niether does farming."

Donovan from Wisconsin
 
Few years back when Humane Society would run ads saying "It's 10 PM - Do you know where your pet is?" I had a bumper sticker made up that said "It's 3AM - "Do you know where your wife is?"
 
"Life's too short to dance with ugly men"

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle"
 
South Dakota beef council had this one made into a bumper sticker, "EAT BEEF THE WEST WASN'T WON ON SALAD", also saw an old farmer a few years back driving a brand new ford diesel pickup and on the bumper sticker it read "DON'T LAUGH ITS PAID FOR"
 
Bumber stickers seen
"Im going Nucking Futs"
"Dont be sexist, Broads hate that"
"To close for missles, switching to guns"
All real good.
 
thurlow: Your quote about dancing with ugly men, reminded me of an old timer in my hometown. He had a speech impediment,wasn't particularly good looking, but he loved to dance and was quite a decent dancer. He also would ask a lot of ladies to dance, and most enjoyed dancing with him.

One night at a dance he was making his rounds, walked up to this quite classie society lady dressed in some quite fine threads, and asked, "You dank wit me lady." She responded, "your not very particular about who you ask to dance." He shot back,"Lady if I were particular, I wouldn't have asked you".
 
Doug: A good one I've seen, "Driver chewing tobacco, keep back 500'". He wasn't really that bad either, his daughters installed this sticker for a joke. He could spit while driving, and not get any tobacco juice on his own car.

Tobacco reminds me of my grandfather, he'd often drive us the 2.5 miles to school. Along the way he'd pick up any kid headed for school. One morning a bossy girl that no one particularly liked was in back seat directly behind my grandfather. He rolled down his window of the old 51 Pontiac to spit. The girl, taking the cue it was maybe to hot in the car rolled down the back window just as he spit, and got it all right in the face.
 
In OR during the spotted owl issue. On the back of a logging truck it read When you run out of paper wipe your butt on a spotted owl.
Mid west sticker read Keep honking I am reloading.
 
Had on my rusted out 76 F250 4X4 in highschool

"Don't laugh, your daughter might be in here"


May not be a good thing to put on an old cargo van.


Seen lately

"Squirrels, nature's little speed bumps."


"More people have died in Ted Kennedy's car than at Gitmo"
 
"Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window".

"Keep America Beautiful. Put A Litter Bag Over Your Head".
 
Only difference between

Osama and external_link is a little b.s.

the s and b in their names were red.
 
Wife has one:
A woman only needs 2 anmials in her life: A good horse and a Jacka$$ to pay for it.
 
Glen: The day my grandfather spit out the window of the old Pontiac, we young lads thought he did a good number on an external parasite. Gosh she could be bossy.

Did you see that Ron James special in western Canada on CBC TV last week. He told that group of westerners that Americans definitely had mad cow, sighted Martha Stewart and some other female TV personality I was not familiar with as examples.
 
Missed that one. We've had so much lightening recently the TV antenna has been unhooked more often than not. Then with running kids to sports etc. The TV sits days at a time without being turned on.
I've enjoyed hearing several versions of the Mad Cow joke.
 
A few from the Marine Corps:

"Happiness Is A Belt Fed Weapon".

"When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine".

"Dying A Natural Death Is For Wimps".
 
Okay, this'll get me in trouble, but..........why do they call it PMS?......cause 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
 
Popular in the Pacific Northwest:

Spotted Owl- Tastes just like Chicken!

Earth First- We'll log the other planets later!

T shirt on a young lady: Picture of an old-timey car radio with the tuning and volume knobs at the strategic points, and underneath, "Don't touch that dial!"
 
A couple of my favourites are "It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do!" and "Gun control means using both hands". tractorsam
 
not really a bumper sticker in a truck back window at work has the little boy who pees on stuff(calvin?) taking a whiz on our work logo
 
A couple that fellow flatbeders have:
"Be a flirt, lift your shirt"
"Flatbeders do it with straps and chains"
 
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