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a different nephew rifle issue

A

Anonymous-0

Well-known Member
I live about 180 miles from my farm, so I am not there all the time. Last trip out I discovered the house had been broken into, amoung things missing were a 22 Marlin (almost worthless) and 12 ga Sears,(same value as 22)), along with a cheap wally world game camera that I had half hidden. Not disturbed were 2 well disguised IR game cameras, that recorded the events. It was my nephew (17) and his friend (18). I talked to the kid, he denied knowing anything. I talked to his father, my brother, I told him I knew the kid knew more than he was letting on. He became upset with me suggesting the kid would do such a thing. As he said he had no problem with me calling the police I did. Both kids got arrested, the 18YO had the guns, both face felony charges. My brother, wild with anger toward me, says I should have shown him the pictures. I told him I knew, and he did say to call the police, however reminding him of that dosen't help. I am willing to reduce to non-criminal charges if it comes with restitution and probation. I knew it would strain family family relationships, but other than to forget about it, what choice did I have beside calling the police ?
 
I know that I will get preached to about this, but a gun safe would have prevented anyone from stealing the guns. You got the guns back and no one was hurt with them.
 
ha ha if a man made that gun safe lock then a man can take it apart

only thing a lock is good for it to keep a honest man honest
 
I disagree, burglars are snatch and grab. There is no one short of James Bond that will take the time to cut one loose from concrete and move it.
 
Sounds like you did the thing to do.

They probablaby woulda been mad no matter what you did, how it is. Either the kid is hardwired to be a problem all his life, or this will be a good wakeup call for him and set him straight.

Sure better than covering it up & enabling him.

Let the anger blow over, it's mostly embarassment as anything at this point. Just have to work through the time issue to let things heal.

--->Paul
 
Ya sure if you want to go that route. It's a little like telling a gal that was molested that she shoulda worn more clothes, it's all her fault....

Fine and all, but the thief is the problem here, not the honest guy.

--->Paul
 
You did the right thing. A dose of reality might straighten those kids out and the dad too.

What, my kid? He would NEVER do a thing like that.
 
How does the other family weigh in? How about the SIL? When did all this happen? Last week or last month?

Your brother is a little short on personal responsibility. Your nephew short on personal responsibility and integrity. These are not faults
that can be corrected over night at this age once a pattern has developed.

So what would have happened if you had tipped your hand with the pictures?

When faced with the other party answering an important question I have positioned; I warn them that how they answer will have far reaching consequences.

You crossed the river when you notified LLE. Your brother suspected that even if LLE was notified, they would be inept. Question to be answered is did your brother have prior knowledge.

How are affected parties behaving? If they are treating it as nothing or are they deeply bothered? You gave a wake up call; do they hit the
snooze button or do they get up?
 
You did the right thing.Your brother doesn't seem to know his son is a thief, if he didn't have any problem with you reporting this to the law.Now he is probably embarassed that he didn't know his son as well as he thought.I would try to talk to my brother and let the nephew take his lumps.If Dad bails him out he will never learn.
 
Bottom line, they were thieves....and deserve punishment. I"m sure I"ve walked past countless cars with the keys in the ignition. Does that mean it"s ok for me to take one? Not the way I was raised.
 
You did everything right, in my opinion. You talked to your brother first, but he didn't believe you. So you did the only responsible thing and notified the authorities. It would have been irresponsible to just drop it. Hopefully, both the young men will have learned a lesson, and profit by it. If they appear remorseful, you might consider reducing the charges. If the family still carries a grudge, then so be it. They are the ones with a problem, not you.
 
YOU didn't turn the boys into criminals; THEY did that when they decided to steal from you. Is Dad more upset that son was caught than he was that son was stealing? If that's the case, then your brother has as big a problem as the kid has.
 
Sorry to hear that your brother is wild with anger toward you. He should be wild with anger at his son not you. He is trying to prevent his son from having to face the music for commiting a serious crime. He is likely the reason the son is like he is. Hope they both smarten up. You are not to blame for this, remind him of that.
 
I found out 3 weeks ago. My brother is ok except for extreamly protective of his children, he is divorced from my SIL, she blames him. The kid is not to bright and lazy, but his only trouble is one minor in possession/consumption of alcohol (he got anouther MIP cause there is pictures of him hauling beer out of my fridge). He is going to be senior next year and will graduate from High School. His friend also has caused no real problems I know of. I don't think anyone, including the States Attourney, wants to start these kids out with criminal records. I don't know how my brother would have reacted to the pictures, frankly I didn't want to be around when he saw them. My brother didn't have prior knowledge, I am sure. He defended his son whom lied to him, only to feel sucker punched after the arrest when the Dept. dropped the pictures on the table and told where the guns were found.
 
Your brother has a case of denial prob based on his own attitude towards what is mine and what is yours.

I have a brother that used to "borrow" things.
His son does the same and has stolen things from my house and shop till i caught him red handed.
To this day my brother keeps a hand above his head and says his son would not do this.
The son claims the many things he has aquared where "given to him" by friends or their parents or he "finds" it on the road.
Yet the word goes around that nobody wants to hire him anymore cause things go "missing" when he is around.

The guy is more believable telling a lie than some one else in telling the truth.
 
That sound like a case of the rod was not used as it should have been. Spare the rod spoil the child as the good book says and that is why many kids lie and steal and do wrong. In your case I would say hey the guns need to come back the damage done to the place needs to be fixed and they kids do some sort of time as in public service as in X number of hours if you drop the charges but they should not get off Scott free. I know I had a problem with my nephews and I should have pressed charges but did not and then a year or so later they got caught braking into the habitat for humanity store and did get in trouble and probation
 
Your house get broken into and robbed and your brother is wild angry at you? Sounds like you need to kick his arse for raising a theif.

You did him a favor, the next house he breaks into may get him killed.
 
Takes about a minute to break a safe loose thats been bolted to concrete. They just steal the safe along with your guns, two guys and a dolly and they break every door frame on their way out. Saw a guy that had one of those 500 pound liberty safes taken out of his basement, about $5000 damage done to his home along with them taking all his guns in one trip through the house.
 
you did the right thing, the right way. You gave the kid the chance to come clean. You told your brother you knew about it. then you notifyed local Law. If your brother is angry, that's his problem, not your's. If it were me, I wouldn't deal with him until he gets over it and comes to you.
 
You did the right thing. Shame on your brother. He has an attitude problem. I agree 100% with the other people who posted their responses too.
 
Seventeen and stealing from his own uncle with his low life pal? Just too bad the nephew wasn't 18 so he could get the felony as an adult. As far as your brother, if he took his kid's word against yours and found out he was wrong and is still mad at you and not his kid, write him off.
You gave them more than a fair chance.
 
Hello prairie guy,
You are NOT the bag guy here, you can rest assured of that.
I'm always amazed when the perpetrators have more rights then the victim.
They should be punished to your satisfaction and the law. If you want then to get a second chenge, go ahead. If they are bad seeds, they will get cought again, and you'll look good, for letting them get that second chance.
Guido
 
Tell your brother you'll be more than happy to let things slide for his sone if he'll let you come ransack his place and take whatever you want with no repurcussions. If he isn't willing to do that then he needs a real attitude adjustment, just like his son....heck from the sound of things he needs one anyways.
 
Tell your brother that you are doing his punk kid a favor by only letting him get a felony charge from you. The kids could have been shot while breaking in.

A friend of mine had a friend that kicked in his grandparents front door and stole his grandma's money out of her mattress. They found his fingerprints on the front door. He went to jail for a while. (total loser I am told)
The best lesson for a punk loser like your nephew is to send him to jail for a while and let your brother think about his loser kid while he sits in jail.
 
you told him you knew.. he did nothing..

this run in with the police, hopefully will scare the kids into being good productive citizens without messing up their lives too much.. IE.. if it dropds to non felony, or PTI type charges.

ya done right.

the brother is in the wrong trying to cover for his kid...

sad but true.

My best friend just went thru the same thing with his sisters 18yr old. kid stole and then stole more.. moved out of the house.. 2wks later was robbing vacant buildings. got 6m in jail.. learned a lot about not what to do once he got out. put the 'fear' in the kid after that.

soundguy
 
if im hearing this right,,i have to to place everything i own in a safe, or its my fault that my nephew has become a scumbag thief. a house is a box with a lock on it the same as a dang safe !! the people of the country are like the ones who were around when Jesus was taken before pilate----- " free barabus, the thief and lock up Jesus,who said "thou shalt not steal"
 
I don't know if it is in the bible or where, but I believe no one can $@#&w you like a relative. Family can be the worse enemy on the planet. I've had had something stolen, swiped or broken in 5 times over the years, twice by 'friends' I just met, 3 by close relatives. Last time broken door off the hingles, tons of tools all gone, copper pipe, hydraulic parts, on and on. And a 22 rifle was gone, I didn't have an idea who at all, but a trooper showed up- showed me an APB for my cousin's boy freind- btw, she was his cousin too! Things went fast from there, he stopped in to their freind up the road, that guy brought a ton of possibly stolen stuff they- 'stored there'- and over 20 guns out of his house, trouble is, the cop said none of them matched mine! In the process, we find, another relative, drove in after the break in, insted of telling the police -or me- HE went shopping, goober took more than the guy with the warrant! Cop didn't think a druggie would mess with heavy tools and tractor parts huh? He was right. Stolen guns 'can' be a federal felony, so it ain't up to you or the local DA to go easy, once the feds see a copy of the report, it's up to them. This has been going on for 50-60 years, may not stop in our lifetime. I"ll tell ya, when someone feels sorry for himself because he was an orphan - makes me laugh! I say " you don't think so, but you are one lucky @#$%^&*!!!!"
 
If my kids did anything like that, they know I wouldn't come to pick them up until their sentence was up. I wouldn't be PO'd that a relative called the cops, I be PO'd that they disgraced themselves and the family.
 
Prairie guy, you did right in reporting it to the police. The one thing that may have made it go better with your brother is to tell him you had evidence, rather than telling him you "knew" he stole them. I know he stole them is frequently used by someone who has no proof, just thinks they did and is trying to get info.
 
His Dad needs time to cool down. He is not mad at you he is mad at the kid that he defended and was proved to be a thief and a liar. It is better to catch him now and not after he robs a liquor store.
 
The parents are responsible for their kids actions . I would say Dad is mad because he will have to pay restitution. You did right tho .
 
You definitely did the right thing,their father is an Idiot for defending them and not kicking their butts.Of course thats why they turned out like they did with a father that took up for them when they did wrong rather than raising them right.
 
I agree with your summation that your brother felt sucker punched when he saw the pictures and you could have prevented the sucker punched feeling had you manned up and shown him the pictures from the beginning. Given the opportunity, your brother may have called the cops himself. Now you'll never know exactly what kind of man your brother is but we can see that you like being manipulative.

Not to shift blame away from your nephew...he was one of the two thieves who put this whole scenario in motion, but I feel that you as an assumed adult should have realized that noone wants to believe that their child is a thief, that is part of being an adult, recognizing the complexity of inter-personal relationships and the bond between a parent and a child, age means nothing. Put yourself in your brother's shoes...would you have believed him if he came to you and said "I know that your son stole my belongings" without offering any proof beyond the value of his word? Probably not!

The picture you have painted makes it appear to me that you were testing how much respect your brother has for you by seeing how he would react to such a serious allegation without proof, merely your word. Looks to me like you miscalculated and now not only is your nephew being looked down upon in the family but so are you, and you don't like feeling like Judas.

You win some and you lose some, but the outcome is most often determined by how you play the game. You played this poorly by not sharing with your brother the factual proof of what you alledged, you were inconsiderate. You could have shared the proof and still been able to call the police.
 
If I was your brother and that was my son the least of his worries would be the police. If you know what I mean. You did the right thing.
 
Guess I'm in the minority here. As someone said below, "I know he did it" is a lot difference than "I've got pictures". Same as "I know he didn't do it" is a lot different than "He was in Bolivia with me at the time- wanna see the plane ticket?"

If I wanted to try to keep peace in the family, I'd have told bro "I've got pictures"- not necessarily even show them to him, unless he insisted. And I would have insisted on getting my stuff back, and a heart to heart with the kid, or I go to the cops with the pics.
 
Most all 17 and 18 year olds know right from wrong. Apparently the young man felt he could get away with it. I would have done the same. Call him what he is, a thief.
The father should be upset with his son for stealing, not to mention from the Family!
You did the right thing, turn it over to the Police and let them handle it.
Charles
 
jokers, you are joking right. The victim of a crime is manupulative and needs to man up ? The victim of a crime needs to be more considerate ? It sounds like he went out of his way handel it in the family, and only went to the police after he was rebuffed. Why throw all your cards on the table ? What you call factual proof is just evidence. Why let them get familiar with the evidence and lawyer up to try to explain it away (ie: those pictures were from a family picknic last fall).
 
You're kidding right? Your ignorance is showing...lawyer up to refute pictures of themselves where they didn't belong?....there's probably even pictures of the two teenagers removing the property, refute that!

Yes I'm serious when I told the OP that he should have shown his brother the evidence. Not once did I say that he shouldn't have called the cops and not once did I say that OP wasn't a victim of a crime. It does seem awfully odd that he would not have even mentioned to his brother that there are pictures....why would he keep that secret? There's more to the story than what we were told.
 
Are you serious!? To tell the victim he has some culpability in this is totally ludicrous. Would you be saying the same thing if the cops caught these 2 thieves on their own? The only people who should have "manned up" are the 2 kids. If they hadn't have lied, they might only be facing their parents and fixing the damage they did.
 
Bull pucky! Two guys broke into my high school, got a cutting torch from the auto shop, and were caught by the police in the process of trying to cut the safe open.
 
Are you serious? Show me where I said OP had any culpability. I said that OP has a responsibility as an adult in his family to be forthright, simple as that.

I'm seeing that reading comprehension doesn't come as natuarlly for some on this forum, as argumentativeness and being irrational does.
 
Statistically, that means the preponderence of empirical or historical evidence shows this to be true, burglars are snatch and grab opportunists.

Of course anyone can probably cite an EXCEPTION to the rule but those instances are typically where there was known to be a large cache kept in a safe, office, etc. or it was dumber burglars involved who don't understand that more time spent at the scene of the crime directly relates to a higher probability of being caught.

Do you come to this forum to argue with others with an argument based on one exceptional point? It's appears that way.
 

You done good........Only thing lower than a thief is one that steals from family....... I wouldn't give it a second thought other than watch the whole family closer.

Dave
 
JMS

Of course you are right, it is not ok to steal something just because you can.....but from the other side of this equation, if a person is doing everything they can to protect themselves, they neither leave the keys in the ignition or leave their guns out where they are not protected to the best of ones ability.

For the record I have most of my rifles, shotguns, and even pistols in a display case in my home, not protected by a gunsafe, but I also recognize and accept the fact that they make an easy and appealing target if anyone should burglarize my home. I don't think this makes me guilty if someone breaks in and steals them but it would be awfully hard for me to argue that I didn't make it easy for them.
 
Well Chris, seeing as how you asked a question I'll offer a respectful reply.

Prairie Guy was not forthcoming that he had proof that his brother's kid was the thief. Why would he withold that information? I don't know because I don't see where disclosing it would have changed his options in any way, but it sure seemed that PG wanted his brother to take him at his word against the paternal instincts that his brother and any father feels to protect their child when their is any doubt. PG's whole account just doesn't read like he was upfront and now he wants us to feel sorry for him because his brother is mad at him, seems like poor PG is the victim yet again. That is my opinion.
 
BTW, the purpose of assumed manipulation could be to validate that his brother values Prairie Guy's word, maybe Brother doesn't make PG feel important enough.
 
I had to look it up because your answer didn't make any sence to me. manipulate~to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve ones purpose. To have maniplulated this the PG would have had to arrange the break in, been responsible for the kids lies, and caused his brothers behaviour. All so he could take a look at his brothers moral compass ! Wow !
 
When the Dad calms down you might want to advise him his kid probably has drug issues. Went through the same thing with my own kid.
 
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